Matt Coyne - Dummy - Headline Publishing Group

Time remaining

  • -- days
  • -- hours
  • -- minutes
  • -- seconds
Other Formats
  • E-Book £P.O.R.
    More information
    • ISBN:9781472243751
    • Publication date:20 Apr 2017
  • Downloadable audio file £P.O.R.
    More information
    • ISBN:9781472248923
    • Publication date:20 Apr 2017

Dummy

The Comedy and Chaos of Real-Life Parenting

By Matt Coyne

  • Paperback
  • £8.99

A hilariously honest book on the mystery and madness of parenting

**THE SUNDAY TIMES TOP 10 BESTSELLER**

'The night before Charlie was born I had this dream. I dreamt that I was a soldier, riding into battle ... completely naked, and on the back of a large, inflatable duck.'

Matt Coyne has become a hero for thousands of parents everywhere who are devoted followers of his popular blog, Man vs Baby.

This is his book, and it is not your average parenting tome. It's packed with completely impractical advice for the bewildered new mum or dad - stuff you won't find anywhere else: from 'Profanity Bingo' for labour to a categorisation of various nappy disasters. But, more than that, it is the story of how becoming a parent is a kind of beautiful insanity - a thing that changes you.

Above all, Dummy will keep you laughing through the exhaustion, the mystery and the madness of bringing up your own children.

This is the parenting book for real people.

Raves for Matt Coyne and Dummy:

'A hero for dads everywhere' Daily Mirror

'Very, Very funny' Phillip Schofield, This Morning

'Hilarious but accurate account of finding your feet as a parent. Matt Coyne's post has struck a chord with parents from all over the world' Daily Mail

'Brutally honest rant on the reality of parenthood has taken the internet by storm' Sunday Telegraph

Biographical Notes

MATT COYNE is a 42-year-old graphic designer from Sheffield. In September 2015, Matt's life was turned upside-down by the arrival of his first child, Charlie. After three months of fatherhood, he logged on to Facebook and wrote about his experience of having to live with 'a furious, sleep-murdering, unstable and incontinent, breasts-obsessed midget lodger'. Within days, his post about surviving the first few months of parenthood became a viral sensation and was shared all over the world. He continues to
impart his parental triumphs and disasters on his blog, Man vs Baby.

Facebook: /manversusbaby
Twitter: @mattcoyney
www.man-vs-baby.co.uk

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9781472243737
  • Publication date: 22 Feb 2018
  • Page count: 368
  • Imprint: Wildfire
A hero for dads everywhere — Daily Mirror
Very, very funny — Phillip Schofield, This Morning
Hilarious but accurate account of finding your feet as a parent ... Matt Coyne's post has struck a chord with parents from all over the world — Daily Mail
Brutally honest rant on the reality of parenthood has taken the internet by storm — Sunday Telegraph
Wildfire

Man vs. Toddler

Matt Coyne
Authors:
Matt Coyne
Headline

Cat vs Trump

For fans of The Beautiful Poetry of Donald Trump and demoralised cats who need a pick-me-up.You know Donald Trump, right? Wobbly orange trumpet on legs? The answer to the question: 'What would the offspring of a Wotsit and a dolphin look like?' Yeah, that guy. Well, he also happens to be the 45th President of the United States of America. There are many questions to be asked of Trump - did he collude with Russia? Is his hair made from caramelised orangutan farts? More pressing than all of them, though, is this: Is he smarter than your cat?*There's only one way to find out...To complete the Cat vs Trump test you will need:A catA pencilThe ability to forget that the world feels like it's on the brinkof nuclear apocalypse for a bitA reminder of POTUS's biggest gaffes and a genuine cat IQ test all in one, this is the perfect present for cat lovers and Donald detractors alike... *SPOILER ALERT - NO

Headline

I'm Sorry, I Love You: A History of Professional Wrestling

Jim Smallman
Authors:
Jim Smallman
Wildfire

Humans

Tom Phillips
Authors:
Tom Phillips
Headline

Confessions of a Single Mum

Amy Nickell
Authors:
Amy Nickell

When Amy Nickell left university, she managed to nab herself a real life paid job as a celebrity reporter in London town. She literally got paid to ask Robert Downey Junior out for Nando's, while living with her gay best friend, their Harry Styles cardboard cutout and their pet toad, Snoop Frog, and drank prosecco way before it was in fashion. Things were good, they were fun, they definitely weren't serious. However, that life took a very grown up, very serious detour when Amy found herself expecting the unexpected and pregnant age 24. Pregnant and without a boyfriend. And so her life took on an altogether new direction...Here in Confessions of a Single Mum, Amy debunks single mum myths, delves into the world of dating (nothing ruins sexy sofa snogging ambience like the watchful eye of Daddy Pig), going back to work just ten days after giving birth, lactating WAY too close to Simon Cowell, as well answering the questions that come with having a family that is anything but nuclear.Amy's wonderfully frank, honest and hilarious story will inspire other parents to own their single status as well as anyone whose life has thrown them a curveball.

Headline

Egg and Soldiers

Miles Jupp
Authors:
Miles Jupp
Wildfire

The Picture of Dorian Greyhound (Classic Tails 4)

Oscar Wilde with Eliza Garrett
Authors:
Oscar Wilde with Eliza Garrett
Wildfire

Romeow and Juliet (Classic Tails 3)

William Shakespeare with Eliza Garrett
Authors:
William Shakespeare with Eliza Garrett
Wildfire

The Great Catsby (Classic Tails 2)

Eliza Garrett
Authors:
Eliza Garrett

CLASSIC TAILS - the greatest works of literature, as told by the finest breedsWe all have our favourite classic tales; books that have been beloved to us since childhood, whose wonderful stories and rich tapestry of characters are unsurpassed in modern literature. How, you may ask, could these marvellous works ever be improved upon?Reader, ask no more...for we present The Great CatsbyMillionaire Jay Catsby is a mystery. All alone in his moggy mansion, he throws extravagant parties attended by all the great and the good of the feline world. What nobody knows is that this is a kitty haunted by love - the love of a beautiful pussycat called Daisy, whom he lost to another long ago - and Catsby's great wish is that one day she, too, might be drawn to join the festivities.When Daisy's cousin Nick moves in next door, it seems like Catsby is a whisker away from winning back his beloved. But Daisy's husband Tomcat has other ideas...What readers are saying about The Great Catsby:'Hilarious twist on a classic, filled with many much appreciated cat puns''A lovely feline version of the classic tale. Beautiful and cute images and a lot of funny cat references!''Fun book - cleverly written. 5 stars'

Wildfire

Pugs and Prejudice (Classic Tails 1)

Jane Austen with Eliza Garrett
Authors:
Jane Austen with Eliza Garrett
Headline Home

Unplugged Parenting

Dr Elizabeth Kilbey
Authors:
Dr Elizabeth Kilbey

The book that every parent needs. Written by the expert child psychologist, Dr Elizabeth Kilbey, from Channel 4's The Secret Life of 4, 5 and 6 Year Olds. 'Children who get too much screen time are at risk of anxiety disorders' - BBC NewsThis is the book that every parent with a child under the age of 11 (in the latency stage of brain development) needs in order to navigate the tricky pathway of how much screen time to allow on a daily basis. Play has gone from a physical, creative experience using toys and imagination to something that now involves sitting down alone for hours at a time. Parents are dealing with children who don't listen to them, who are unable to concentrate for very long, who refuse to do homework and who constantly battle against them for more screen time. In this book, Dr Elizabeth Kilbey will offer tangible, practical advice about how to 'unplug' your child from their device so their online time doesn't become all-consuming and how we, as parents, can plug in to connect with our children.

Headline

James Acaster's Classic Scrapes - The Hilarious Sunday Times Bestseller

James Acaster
Authors:
James Acaster

THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER and 2017 Humour Book of the Year pick'Laugh-out-loud hilarious' - Chortle'I don't think I've ever read a book that has made me cry with laughter as much as this one. It was very difficult reading it in public as I looked like a madman' - Richard Herring 'James Acaster has a brilliant comic mind, crackling with energy every bit as much as his corduroy slacks' - Milton JonesJames Acaster has been nominated for the Edinburgh Comedy Award five times and has appeared on prime-time TV shows like MOCK THE WEEK, LIVE AT THE APOLLO and RUSSELL HOWARD'S STAND UP CENTRAL.But behind the fame and critical acclaim is a man perpetually getting into trouble. Whether it's disappointing a skydiving instructor mid-flight, hiding from thugs in a bush wearing a bright red dress, or annoying the Kettering Board Games club, a didgeridoo-playing conspiracy theorist and some bemused Christians, James is always finding new ways to embarrass himself.Appearing on Josh Widdicombe's radio show to recount these stories, the feature was christened 'James Acaster's classic scrapes'. Here, in his first book, James recounts these tales (including never-before-heard stories) along with self-penned drawings, in all their glorious stupidity.

Headline

A History of Heavy Metal

Andrew O'Neill
Authors:
Andrew O'Neill
Headline

The Crap Secret Santa Gift Book

Secret Santa
Authors:
Secret Santa
Headline

The Wasp That Brainwashed the Caterpillar

Matt Simon
Authors:
Matt Simon

For fans of WHAT IF? and NEW SCIENTIST comes Matt Simon's THE WASP THAT BRAINWASHED THE CATERPILLAR, a brilliantly funny and informative look at the stranger side of evolution.Featuring:The Zombie ants mind-controlled by a fungusBeautiful salamanders that can regenerate any part of their bodies, including their brainsThe mantis shrimp, which fires its club-like appendage so fast that the surrounding water becomes as hot as the surface of the sunThe Antechinus, whose runaway testosterone levels cause them to have so much sex during their three-week mating season that they bleed internally, go blind, and drop dead...Featuring quirky illustrations and the signature blend of science smarts and humour that make Matt Simon's Wired column so entertaining, this is an ideal stocking-filler for every popular science aficionado...

Headline

Fathers and Sons

Alexander Waugh
Authors:
Alexander Waugh

The Waugh family has been writing books since the nineteenth century. Evelyn's father, brother and son were all writers and now his grandson has taken up the baton. Based on recollections of his father, Auberon, and on a mine of hitherto unseen documents relating to Evelyn and his close family, Alexander Waugh skilfully traces the threads of influence that have linked father to son across a century of conflict, turmoil and change.FATHERS AND SONS is much more than a family tale: it is a study of birth and death, of writers and writing, of conforming and rebelling. It is a frank and intimate memoir, a revealing history and a book about famous men.

Headline

F**k This Journal

Dale Shaw
Authors:
Dale Shaw
Tinder Press

The Other Side of the World

Stephanie Bishop
Authors:
Stephanie Bishop
Headline

Hello Life!

Marcus Butler
Authors:
Marcus Butler

The Sunday Times number 1 bestseller.Marcus Butler's irreverent YouTube channel has long combined laughs and comedy sketches with thoughts on more serious issues. What sets him apart from the rest is his ability to mix light-hearted banter with a deep empathy for the problems facing young people today. Thanks to his experiences of family illness, his parents' divorce, weight issues and catastrophic hair days, Marcus is in a unique position to share everything he has learned about healthy living, relationships and dealing with the daily pressures life throws at us all. Working with journalist and writer Matt Allen, in HELLO LIFE! his part-autobiography, part-self help guide Marcus shares his trademark big-brotherly advice and unveils his roadmap to success for anyone navigating the trickier aspects of modern living. Funny, cool, fully illustrated and totally readable, this book is the ultimate must-have for fans of Marcus Butler.

Headline Eternal

A Pound of Flesh: A Pound of Flesh Book 1

Sophie Jackson
Authors:
Sophie Jackson

A Pound of Flesh is the first title in the A Pound of Flesh series from fan-fiction superstar Sophie Jackson.Lose your heart to your new bad boy book boyfriend. Wes Carter - sexy, edgy, behind bars, with emotional scars as permanent as the ink on his skin, just waiting to be healed by love...Fans of Samantha Young, Jodi Ellen Malpas, Jamie McGuire, Katy Evans and Prison Break will find this powerful love story utterly addictive and unforgettable. Can true love heal the deepest scars?Wes Carter: Dangerous, brooding and behind bars, Carter's emotional scars are as permanent as the ink on his skin.Kat Lane: Vibrant and gutsy, Kat chooses to become a prison tutor in tribute to her father whose murder haunts her. Although worlds apart, when their eyes meet, Carter and Kat's searing attraction is instant. As teacher and student, any relationship is against every rule. But although their love is forbidden, it won't be denied... Loyalty, redemption and all-consuming love against the odds. Check out the whole A Pound of Flesh series: A Pound of Flesh, Love and Always, An Ounce of Hope, Fate and Forever and A Measure of Love.