James Acaster's Classic Scrapes - The Hilarious Sunday Times Bestseller
By James Acaster
**THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER**'I don't think I've ever read a book that has made me cry with laughter as much as this one. It was very difficult reading it in public as I looked like a madman' - Richard Herring 'James Acaster has a brilliant comic mind, crackling with energy every bit as much as his corduroy slacks' - Milton JonesJames Acaster has been nominated for the Edinburgh Comedy Award five times and has appeared on prime-time TV shows like MOCK THE WEEK, LIVE AT THE APOLLO and RUSSELL HOWARD'S STAND UP CENTRAL.But behind the fame and critical acclaim is a man perpetually getting into trouble. Whether it's disappointing a skydiving instructor mid-flight, hiding from thugs in a bush wearing a bright red dress, or annoying the Kettering Board Games club, a didgeridoo-playing conspiracy theorist and some bemused Christians, James is always finding new ways to embarrass himself.Appearing on Josh Widdicombe's radio show to recount these stories, the feature was christened 'James Acaster's classic scrapes'. Here, in his first book, James recounts these tales (including never-before-heard stories) along with self-penned drawings, in all their glorious stupidity.
Cat vs Trump
Is your cat smarter than Donald Trump?Already read The Beautiful Poetry of Donald Trump? Gobbled up Fire and Fury? Well, how about some Fire and FURRY. It's time to give your cat a pick me up, as we pit its wits against the President...You know Donald Trump, right? Wobbly orange trumpet on legs? The answer to the question: 'What would the offspring of a Wotsit and a dolphin look like?' Yeah, that guy. Well, he also happens to be the 45th President of the United States of America. There are many questions to be asked of Trump - did he collude with Russia? Is his hair made from caramelised orangutan farts? More pressing than all of them, though, is this: Is he smarter than your cat?*There's only one way to find out...To complete the Cat vs Trump test you will need:A catA pencilThe ability to forget that the world feels like it's on the brinkof nuclear apocalypse for a bitA reminder of POTUS's biggest gaffes and a genuine cat IQ test all in one, this is the perfect present for cat lovers and Donald detractors alike... *SPOILER ALERT - NO
By Neil Gaiman, Chris Riddell
A creative call to arms from the mind of Neil Gaiman, combining his extraordinary words with deft and striking illustrations by Chris Riddell. Art Matters will inspire its readers to seize the day in the name of art. Be bold. Be rebellious. Choose art. It matters.Neil Gaiman once said that 'the world always seems brighter when you've just made something that wasn't there before'. This little book is the embodiment of that vision. Drawn together from speeches, poems and creative manifestos, Art Matters explores how reading, imagining and creating can change the world, and will be inspirational to young and old.
I'm Sorry, I Love You: A History of Professional Wrestling
By Jim Smallman
'Filled with passion, humour, and a little bit of welcome weirdness. A must-read for every die-hard wrestling fan' - Mick FoleyFor fans of books from Chris Jericho, Steve Austin, Daniel Bryan, Mick Foley and Jim Ross. 'We have all felt every emotion today. Remember today, the next time a family member or workmate tells you that wrestling is stupid. We've laughed, we've cried, we've screamed our lungs out. Professional wrestling is the greatest thing in the entire world.' - Jim Smallman, 2016 Comedian and PROGRESS Wrestling founder Jim Smallman takes us on a wild ride through the history of pro-wrestling, from its beginnings at the turn of the twentieth century to the pop-culture, pay-per-view juggernaut that it is today.Join Jim as he looks at the most defining and iconic moments in wrestling's history and attempts to nail down just why this ludicrous, over the top, compelling quasi-sport means so much to so many people.
By Tom Phillips
An exhilarating journey through the most creative and catastrophic f*ck ups in human history, from our very first ancestor falling out of that tree, to the most spectacular fails of the present day. In the seventy thousand years that modern human beings have walked this earth, we've come a long way. Art, science, culture, trade - on the evolutionary food chain, we're real winners. But, frankly, it's not exactly been plain sailing, and sometimes - just occasionally - we've managed to really, truly, quite unbelievably f*ck things up.From Chairman Mao's Four Pests Campaign, to the American Dustbowl; from the Austrian army attacking itself one drunken night, to the world's leading superpower electing a reality TV mogul as President... it's pretty safe to say that, as a species, we haven't exactly grown wiser with age. So, next time you think you've really f*cked up, this book will remind you: it could be so much worse...PRAISE FOR HUMANS:'In dark times, it's reassuring to learn that we've always been a bunch of clueless f*cking nitwits' Stuart Heritage, author of Don't Be a Dick, Pete'A light-touch history of moments when humans have got it spectacularly wrong... Both readable and entertaining' Telegraph
The Floor is Lava
By Ivan Brett
Packed with 100 different games, this is a how-to for turning time together into quality time together.Playing games can be so enjoyable but don't you often find yourself playing the same old games time and time again? Well why not let Ivan Brett inspire you with over 99 games to entertain any gathering of friends or family. In The Floor is Lava there are games to start a party, ideas to trigger conversation, story-telling setups and fiendish puzzles, plus physical challenges, activities to soothe a weary brain and plenty more. In short, you'll find games for every occasion: * beating boredom in the car* hosting a party* cooling off in the summer holidays* sitting around the dinner table* digesting your Christmas turkey* being trapped indoors on a rainy dayNow, jump up and get started - the floor is lava!You can listen to Ivan's 'The Floor is Lava' weekly podcast on iTunes and Entale.
A History of Heavy Metal
By Andrew O'Neill
'Absolutely hilarious' - Neil Gaiman'One of the funniest musical commentators that you will ever read . . . loud and thoroughly engrossing' - Alan Moore'A man on a righteous mission to persuade people to "lay down your souls to the gods rock and roll".' - The Sunday Times'As funny and preposterous as this mighty music deserve' - John HiggsThe history of heavy metal brings brings us extraordinary stories of larger-than-life characters living to excess, from the household names of Ozzy Osbourne, Lemmy, Bruce Dickinson and Metallica (SIT DOWN, LARS!), to the brutal notoriety of the underground Norwegian black metal scene and the New Wave Of British Heavy Metal. It is the story of a worldwide network of rabid fans escaping everyday mundanity through music, of cut-throat corporate arseholes ripping off those fans and the bands they worship to line their pockets. The expansive pantheon of heavy metal musicians includes junkies, Satanists and murderers, born-again Christians and teetotallers, stadium-touring billionaires and toilet-circuit journeymen. Award-winning comedian and life-long heavy metal obsessive Andrew O'Neill has performed his History of Heavy Metal comedy show to a huge range of audiences, from the teenage metalheads of Download festival to the broadsheet-reading theatre-goers of the Edinburgh Fringe. Now, in his first book, he takes us on his own very personal and hilarious journey through the history of the music, the subculture, and the characters who shaped this most misunderstood genre of music.
By Matt Coyne
**THE SUNDAY TIMES TOP 10 BESTSELLER**'The night before Charlie was born I had this dream. I dreamt that I was a soldier, riding into battle ... completely naked, and on the back of a large, inflatable duck.'Matt Coyne has become a hero for thousands of parents everywhere who are devoted followers of his popular blog, Man vs Baby.This is his book, and it is not your average parenting tome. It's packed with completely impractical advice for the bewildered new mum or dad - stuff you won't find anywhere else: from 'Profanity Bingo' for labour to a categorisation of various nappy disasters. But, more than that, it is the story of how becoming a parent is a kind of beautiful insanity - a thing that changes you.Above all, Dummy will keep you laughing through the exhaustion, the mystery and the madness of bringing up your own children. This is the parenting book for real people.Raves for Matt Coyne and Dummy:'A hero for dads everywhere' Daily Mirror'Very, Very funny' Phillip Schofield, This Morning'Hilarious but accurate account of finding your feet as a parent. Matt Coyne's post has struck a chord with parents from all over the world' Daily Mail 'Brutally honest rant on the reality of parenthood has taken the internet by storm' Sunday Telegraph
Egg and Soldiers
By Miles Jupp
'A gloriously enjoyable read from start to finish' - Daily Express'Here's a book to savour' - Mail on SundayMiles Jupp (News Quiz presenter, star of Rev, I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue and The Thick Of It) delves into the mind of his comedy creation Damien Trench - urbane food writer and protagonist of BBC Radio 4's acclaimed sitcom In and Out of the Kitchen. 'Are you Damien Trench?' said the lady operating the stall.'I might be,' I said to the lady.'You are though, aren't you?' she asked.'Well...yes,' I agreed. And that was that.She seized me by both hands, pulled me towards her, and launched into a passionate monologue that covered a selection of dessert recipes that I had once offered up in print, her difficult relationship with soft cheeses and her husband's irritable skin. So intense was her manner that it was extremely difficult to tell if she was scolding or praising me. All I knew was that she was staring so intently at me that I became worried that parts of me would dry up and just drop off like smoked chipotles. Also, her eyes were so extremely wide open that I began to worry that it might be dangerous to let so much light into your head. As soon as she stopped speaking, I thanked her for being willing to share, broke free from her grasp, panic-bought three punnets of raspberries on the way out and then sprinted back to the Uno as fast as fast can be.'Whether you're already a fan of Jupp's bumbling bon viveur, or are stumbling across him for the first time, here's a book to savour.' Mail on Sunday
Busty, Slag and Nob End
By Russell Ash
Building on the phenomenal success of POTTY, FARTWELL AND KNOB, this new collection of extraordinary but true names goes a step further...In BUSTY, SLAG AND NOB END, Russell Ash has compiled real names from around the world that are really rude and are of places and products as well as people. The result of painstaking research, each name has been thoroughly checked and authenticated: you will marvel at the range of naughty nomenclature and hoot at the unwitting innuendo. From Harriet Nicewonger (born Derbyshire c.1876) and Connie Lingus (resident of Indiana, USA) to Dick Swinger (born Switzerland c.1842) and Blo Job (US immigrant from Slovakia, born c.1897); from Titty Ho in Northamptonshire to Dildo in Newfoundland; and from Cock Soup to Pee Cola - this compendium of sauciness is guaranteed to make you laugh out loud.
Pugs and Prejudice (Classic Tails 1)
By Jane Austen, Eliza Garrett
CLASSIC TAILS - the greatest works of literature, as told by the finest breedsWe all have our favourite classic novels; books that have been beloved to us since childhood, whose wonderful stories and rich tapestry of characters are unsurpassed in modern literature. How, you may ask, could these marvellous works ever be improved upon?Reader, ask no more...for we present Pugs & PrejudiceMrs Bennet has five unmarried daughters, living in a house that can only be inherited by a male heir. The Bennet litter must be married off soon - but to whom?Adorable Mr Bingley seems like a perfect match for beautiful and sweetly tempered Jane Bennet; and perhaps his dashing but aloof companion Mr Darcy might be just right for her witty sister Elizabeth?Or perhaps not...This book has everything you adored about Jane Austen's classic novel - the wit, the warmth, the love story - with everything the original lacked - namely, a colourful cast of adorable pugs dressed head to paw in Georgian clothing. Turns out Mr Darcy is even more lovable with a fuzzy muzzle.What readers are saying about Pugs and Prejudice:'A simply excellent adaptation of a classic' 'Really an amazing book. It's a perfect introductory tale for anyone who doesn't know Pride and Prejudice and even more enjoyable for those who do''Such a cute book - the perfect gift for the pug lovers in your life'
The Great Catsby (Classic Tails 2)
By Eliza Garrett
CLASSIC TAILS - the greatest works of literature, as told by the finest breedsWe all have our favourite classic tales; books that have been beloved to us since childhood, whose wonderful stories and rich tapestry of characters are unsurpassed in modern literature. How, you may ask, could these marvellous works ever be improved upon?Reader, ask no more...for we present The Great CatsbyMillionaire Jay Catsby is a mystery. All alone in his moggy mansion, he throws extravagant parties attended by all the great and the good of the feline world. What nobody knows is that this is a kitty haunted by love - the love of a beautiful pussycat called Daisy, whom he lost to another long ago - and Catsby's great wish is that one day she, too, might be drawn to join the festivities.When Daisy's cousin Nick moves in next door, it seems like Catsby is a whisker away from winning back his beloved. But Daisy's husband Tomcat has other ideas...What readers are saying about The Great Catsby:'Hilarious twist on a classic, filled with many much appreciated cat puns''A lovely feline version of the classic tale. Beautiful and cute images and a lot of funny cat references!''Fun book - cleverly written. 5 stars'
The Picture of Dorian Greyhound (Classic Tails 4)
By Oscar Wilde, Eliza Garrett
CLASSIC TAILS - the greatest works of literature, as told by the finest breedsWe all have our favourite classic tales; books that have been beloved to us since childhood, whose wonderful stories and rich tapestry of characters are unsurpassed in modern literature. How, you may ask, could these marvellous works ever be improved upon?Reader, ask no more...for we present The Picture of Dorian GreyhoundDorian Greyhound is the best of his breed - well-tempered, beautiful and pure of heart. So Basil Basset, an artist, paints a portrait that reflects the very essence of Dorian's soul.But soon Dorian befriends selfish hedonist Lord Henry Wooffon, and then the moral corruption of this sweet creature begins. On the outside, Dorian remains young and sleek - but as his naughtiness increases, the portrait starts to reveal the extent of his inner decay...What readers are saying about The Picture of Dorian Greyhound:'The whole book is hilarious. I need more of these Classic Tails editions in my life''Clever text, lovely illustrations''Fun references and amazing artwork. It's certainly made me want to read the original'