By Matt Coyne
**THE SUNDAY TIMES TOP 10 BESTSELLER**'The night before Charlie was born I had this dream. I dreamt that I was a soldier, riding into battle ... completely naked, and on the back of a large, inflatable duck.'Matt Coyne has become a hero for thousands of parents everywhere who are devoted followers of his popular blog, Man vs Baby.This is his book, and it is not your average parenting tome. It's packed with completely impractical advice for the bewildered new mum or dad - stuff you won't find anywhere else: from 'Profanity Bingo' for labour to a categorisation of various nappy disasters. But, more than that, it is the story of how becoming a parent is a kind of beautiful insanity - a thing that changes you.Above all, Dummy will keep you laughing through the exhaustion, the mystery and the madness of bringing up your own children. This is the parenting book for real people.Raves for Matt Coyne and Dummy:'A hero for dads everywhere' Daily Mirror'Very, Very funny' Phillip Schofield, This Morning'Hilarious but accurate account of finding your feet as a parent. Matt Coyne's post has struck a chord with parents from all over the world' Daily Mail 'Brutally honest rant on the reality of parenthood has taken the internet by storm' Sunday Telegraph
Egg and Soldiers
By Miles Jupp
'A gloriously enjoyable read from start to finish' - Daily Express'Here's a book to savour' - Mail on SundayMiles Jupp (News Quiz presenter, star of Rev, I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue and The Thick Of It) delves into the mind of his comedy creation Damien Trench - urbane food writer and protagonist of BBC Radio 4's acclaimed sitcom In and Out of the Kitchen. 'Are you Damien Trench?' said the lady operating the stall.'I might be,' I said to the lady.'You are though, aren't you?' she asked.'Well...yes,' I agreed. And that was that.She seized me by both hands, pulled me towards her, and launched into a passionate monologue that covered a selection of dessert recipes that I had once offered up in print, her difficult relationship with soft cheeses and her husband's irritable skin. So intense was her manner that it was extremely difficult to tell if she was scolding or praising me. All I knew was that she was staring so intently at me that I became worried that parts of me would dry up and just drop off like smoked chipotles. Also, her eyes were so extremely wide open that I began to worry that it might be dangerous to let so much light into your head. As soon as she stopped speaking, I thanked her for being willing to share, broke free from her grasp, panic-bought three punnets of raspberries on the way out and then sprinted back to the Uno as fast as fast can be.'Whether you're already a fan of Jupp's bumbling bon viveur, or are stumbling across him for the first time, here's a book to savour.' Mail on Sunday
Busty, Slag and Nob End
By Russell Ash
Building on the phenomenal success of POTTY, FARTWELL AND KNOB, this new collection of extraordinary but true names goes a step further...In BUSTY, SLAG AND NOB END, Russell Ash has compiled real names from around the world that are really rude and are of places and products as well as people. The result of painstaking research, each name has been thoroughly checked and authenticated: you will marvel at the range of naughty nomenclature and hoot at the unwitting innuendo. From Harriet Nicewonger (born Derbyshire c.1876) and Connie Lingus (resident of Indiana, USA) to Dick Swinger (born Switzerland c.1842) and Blo Job (US immigrant from Slovakia, born c.1897); from Titty Ho in Northamptonshire to Dildo in Newfoundland; and from Cock Soup to Pee Cola - this compendium of sauciness is guaranteed to make you laugh out loud.
The Wasp That Brainwashed the Caterpillar
By Matt Simon
For fans of WHAT IF? and NEW SCIENTIST comes this brilliantly funny and informative look at the stranger side of evolution.Featuring:The Zombie ants mind-controlled by a fungusBeautiful salamanders that can regenerate any part of their bodies, including their brainsThe mantis shrimp, which fires its club-like appendage so fast that the surrounding water becomes as hot as the surface of the sunThe Antechinus, whose runaway testosterone levels cause them to have so much sex during their three-week mating season that they bleed internally, go blind, and drop dead...Featuring quirky illustrations and the signature blend of science smarts and humour that make Matt Simon's Wired column so entertaining, this is an ideal stocking-filler for every popular science aficionado...
Pugs and Prejudice (Classic Tails 1)
By Jane Austen with Eliza Garrett
CLASSIC TAILS - the greatest works of literature, as told by the finest breedsWe all have our favourite classic novels; books that have been beloved to us since childhood, whose wonderful stories and rich tapestry of characters are unsurpassed in modern literature. How, you may ask, could these marvellous works ever be improved upon?Reader, ask no more...for we present Pugs & PrejudiceMrs Bennet has five unmarried daughters, living in a house that can only be inherited by a male heir. The Bennet litter must be married off soon - but to whom?Adorable Mr Bingley seems like a perfect match for beautiful and sweetly tempered Jane Bennet; and perhaps his dashing but aloof companion Mr Darcy might be just right for her witty sister Elizabeth?Or perhaps not...This book has everything you adored about Jane Austen's classic novel - the wit, the warmth, the love story - with everything the original lacked - namely, a colourful cast of adorable pugs dressed head to paw in Georgian clothing. Turns out Mr Darcy is even more lovable with a fuzzy muzzle.What readers are saying about Pugs and Prejudice:'A simply excellent adaptation of a classic' 'Really an amazing book. It's a perfect introductory tale for anyone who doesn't know Pride and Prejudice and even more enjoyable for those who do''Such a cute book - the perfect gift for the pug lovers in your life'
The Great Catsby (Classic Tails 2)
By Eliza Garrett
CLASSIC TAILS - the greatest works of literature, as told by the finest breedsWe all have our favourite classic tales; books that have been beloved to us since childhood, whose wonderful stories and rich tapestry of characters are unsurpassed in modern literature. How, you may ask, could these marvellous works ever be improved upon?Reader, ask no more...for we present The Great CatsbyMillionaire Jay Catsby is a mystery. All alone in his moggy mansion, he throws extravagant parties attended by all the great and the good of the feline world. What nobody knows is that this is a kitty haunted by love - the love of a beautiful pussycat called Daisy, whom he lost to another long ago - and Catsby's great wish is that one day she, too, might be drawn to join the festivities.When Daisy's cousin Nick moves in next door, it seems like Catsby is a whisker away from winning back his beloved. But Daisy's husband Tomcat has other ideas...What readers are saying about The Great Catsby:'Hilarious twist on a classic, filled with many much appreciated cat puns''A lovely feline version of the classic tale. Beautiful and cute images and a lot of funny cat references!''Fun book - cleverly written. 5 stars'
Romeow and Juliet (Classic Tails 3)
By William Shakespeare with Eliza Garrett
CLASSIC TAILS - the greatest works of literature, as told by the finest breedsWe all have our favourite classic tales; books that have been beloved to us since childhood, whose wonderful stories and rich tapestry of characters are unsurpassed in modern literature. How, you may ask, could these marvellous works ever be improved upon?Reader, ask no more...for we present Romeow and JulietYou've never read Shakespeare like this, till now: / The tragedy of Juliet, and her Romeow.In fair Purrona, two furry families are at war. But when Romeow, the son of Montamew, sneaks into a Cattulet ball, he falls in love with beautiful Juliet - the daughter of his father's sworn enemy. So begins the tale of two star-crossed kitties, who must defy this feline feud to try and live - but ultimately, tragically die - together...What readers are saying about Romeow and Juliet:'A light-hearted catty take on Romeo and Juliet - a great one to pick up for Christmas!' 'This is such a beautiful and wonderful book to own and perfect for anyone, no matter if you've read Shakespeare or not!' '5 stars. Loving this - and the other books in the series'
The Picture of Dorian Greyhound (Classic Tails 4)
By Oscar Wilde with Eliza Garrett
CLASSIC TAILS - the greatest works of literature, as told by the finest breedsWe all have our favourite classic tales; books that have been beloved to us since childhood, whose wonderful stories and rich tapestry of characters are unsurpassed in modern literature. How, you may ask, could these marvellous works ever be improved upon?Reader, ask no more...for we present The Picture of Dorian GreyhoundDorian Greyhound is the best of his breed - well-tempered, beautiful and pure of heart. So Basil Basset, an artist, paints a portrait that reflects the very essence of Dorian's soul.But soon Dorian befriends selfish hedonist Lord Henry Wooffon, and then the moral corruption of this sweet creature begins. On the outside, Dorian remains young and sleek - but as his naughtiness increases, the portrait starts to reveal the extent of his inner decay...What readers are saying about The Picture of Dorian Greyhound:'The whole book is hilarious. I need more of these Classic Tails editions in my life''Clever text, lovely illustrations''Fun references and amazing artwork. It's certainly made me want to read the original'
James Acaster's Classic Scrapes - The Hilarious Sunday Times Bestseller
By James Acaster
THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER and 2017 Humour Book of the Year pick'Laugh-out-loud hilarious' - Chortle'I don't think I've ever read a book that has made me cry with laughter as much as this one. It was very difficult reading it in public as I looked like a madman' - Richard Herring 'James Acaster has a brilliant comic mind, crackling with energy every bit as much as his corduroy slacks' - Milton JonesJames Acaster has been nominated for the Edinburgh Comedy Award five times and has appeared on prime-time TV shows like MOCK THE WEEK, LIVE AT THE APOLLO and RUSSELL HOWARD'S STAND UP CENTRAL.But behind the fame and critical acclaim is a man perpetually getting into trouble. Whether it's disappointing a skydiving instructor mid-flight, hiding from thugs in a bush wearing a bright red dress, or annoying the Kettering Board Games club, a didgeridoo-playing conspiracy theorist and some bemused Christians, James is always finding new ways to embarrass himself.Appearing on Josh Widdicombe's radio show to recount these stories, the feature was christened 'James Acaster's classic scrapes'. Here, in his first book, James recounts these tales (including never-before-heard stories) along with self-penned drawings, in all their glorious stupidity.
A History of Heavy Metal
By Andrew O'Neill
'Absolutely hilarious' - Neil Gaiman'One of the funniest musical commentators that you will ever read . . . loud and thoroughly engrossing' - Alan Moore'Relentlessly energetic and frequently hilarious' - The Herald'A man on a righteous mission to persuade people to "lay down your souls to the gods rock and roll"' - The Sunday Times'A love letter to Heavy Metal' - BBC RADIO 4 'As funny and preposterous as this mighty music deserve' - John HiggsThe history of heavy metal brings brings us extraordinary stories of larger-than-life characters living to excess, from the household names of Ozzy Osbourne, Lemmy, Bruce Dickinson and Metallica (SIT DOWN, LARS!), to the brutal notoriety of the underground Norwegian black metal scene and the New Wave Of British Heavy Metal. It is the story of a worldwide network of rabid fans escaping everyday mundanity through music, of cut-throat corporate arseholes ripping off those fans and the bands they worship to line their pockets. The expansive pantheon of heavy metal musicians includes junkies, Satanists and murderers, born-again Christians and teetotallers, stadium-touring billionaires and toilet-circuit journeymen. Award-winning comedian and life-long heavy metal obsessive Andrew O'Neill has performed his History of Heavy Metal comedy show to a huge range of audiences, from the teenage metalheads of Download festival to the broadsheet-reading theatre-goers of the Edinburgh Fringe. Now, in his first book, he takes us on his own very personal and hilarious journey through the history of the music, the subculture, and the characters who shaped this most misunderstood genre of music.
The Crap Secret Santa Gift Book
By Secret Santa
A budget-friendly Secret Santa present for fans of How to Poo at Work and Very British Problems featuring advice on how to survive the office christmas party, silly games to play in meetings and, on one page, a picture of a really evil swan. Perfect for that bloke in marketing whose name you've forgotten. Dear _____,Look, I never signed up to this 'Secret Santa' crap. If I had it my way we'd spend the money on a paddling pool and fill it with gin, or a pool table or something. And I'm sure you're great, but in all honesty I'm not really sure who you are. That's why I pretended to be on my phone in the lift the other day.Anyway, seeing as it's compulsory, I decided to get you this very expensive and interesting book, featuring such things as: Tips on how to survive the office partyStupid games to play in meetingsExamples of things I could have got you instead of this bookA picture of a swanLet's face it, you're only going to leave this behind in the pub or give it to your weird nephew you're secretly terrified of, so stop complaining.Oh, and Merry Christmas.Yours,'Secret Santa'
SAS: Who Dares Wins
By Anthony Middleton, Jason Fox, Matthew Ollerton, Colin Maclachlan
Life and leadership lessons from the Special Forces, accompanying the Channel 4 series SAS: Who Dares Wins.Are you up to the challenge of SAS leadership? Only the best will succeed... Britain's SAS (Special Air Service) has an unparalleled reputation for soldiering excellence. Their skills and techniques have been perfected in the most demanding environments imaginable, but many of these can also be used in our everyday lives. This book takes situations all of us will experience during our lives and presents tactical lessons drawn from SAS training and battlefield experience. Its four authors - stars of the hit Channel 4 show SAS: Who Dares Wins - how their finely honed understanding of how to handle extreme challenges can be applied in any environment. Their advice on negotiation, people management, self-motivation and resilience, among other things, can transform your performance in a whole range of scenarios: from buying a house, nailing a job interview, and the experience of dealing with rejection, to maintaining a diet, or managing that pushy colleague at work.This is the ultimate guide to leadership and personal achievement.
By Adam Hurrey
'A must-have' - The Telegraph'Book of the Week' - The Independent'Hilarious' - Sport MagazineIn what other context do football fans use the words 'aplomb' or 'derisory'? Why don't we use 'rifle' as a verb on the other six days of the week? Why do aggrieved midfielders feel the instinctive need to make a giant ball-shaped gesture with both hands after a mistimed tackle is punished? The more football Adam Hurrey watched, the more he began to spot the recurring mannerisms, behaviours, opinions and iconography that were mindlessly repeated in the football media. Some cliches are ridiculous, some are quaintly outdated, some have survived through their sheer indisputability. Here, featuring gloriously pseudo-scientific diagrams and the inimitable writing style that made footballcliches.com a smash hit, they are covered in all their glory.
By Rob Sheffield
On Bowie is a thoughtful and loving meditation on the life of the late David Bowie that explores his creative legacy and the enduring and mutual connection he enjoyed with his fansInnovative. Pioneering. Brave. Until his death in January 2016, David Bowie created art that not only pushed boundaries, but helped fans understand themselves and view the world from fantastic new perspectives.When the shocking news of his death on January 10, 2016 broke, the outpouring of grief and adulation was immediate and ongoing. Fans around the world and across generations paid homage to this brilliant, innovate, ever-evolving artist who both shaped and embodied our times.In this concise and penetrating book, highly-regarded Rolling Stone critic, bestselling author, and lifelong Bowie fan Rob Sheffield shares his own feelings about the passing of this icon and explains why Bowie's death has elicited such an unprecedented emotional outpouring from so many.
Neil Gaiman's Likely Stories
By Neil Gaiman
Neil Gaiman's Likely Stories by Sunday Times bestselling writer Neil Gaiman is a tie-in edition to the unique Sky Arts series starring a host of British acting talent led by Tom Hughes and Johnny Vegas. Characteristically dark and strange, these four stories were originally published in Gaiman's popular short-story collections, Fragile Things and Smoke and Mirrors. 'Gaiman is... a treasure-house of story' - Stephen King. 'Let me tell you a story. No, wait, one's not enough. I'll begin again...' 'Foreign Parts', a story of loneliness and identity, and, perhaps, the joys of making your own way in the world. 'Feeders & Eaters', an eerie tale drawn from a nightmare the author had in his twenties. 'Closing Time', a ghostly story within a story, whispered in the quiet of the night. 'Looking For The Girl', a tale that spans a lifetime, originally commissioned by Penthouse for their 20th anniversary issue.
The Gold Standard
By Ari Gold
Ari Gold is known for his ruthless approach to deal-making and client relationships that made him one of, if not the, most powerful and sought-after agents in Hollywood until he retired in 2011. In his new book THE GOLD STANDARD, Gold will illuminate, for the first time, his unique, effective and, some would say, outrageous philosophies on running a successful business, client management, employee motivation, keeping a happy home life, and other keys to his many successes. Brash, emphatic, instructive and always wise, Gold's book will rival business and leadership bestsellers the world over. In his own words and with his trademark enthusiasm, Gold's tome will be the only book anyone wanting to make something of him or herself will ever need. Ari Gold says: "In my humble opinion, if you want to run a successful business this is the only book you'll ever have to read. And my humble opinion is never wrong."
F**k This Journal
By Dale Shaw
For fans of The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k...Paralysed with bitterness and an overwhelming desire to push people over? Looking for ways to spur your rotten creative core? Need an outlet for your twisted thoughts and pathetic dreams? Struggling for a secret santa gift for the creepy bloke in marketing?Well, look no further than F**K This Journal - the only book to use anger and resentment as the pointy stick to goad your inner artistic pursuits. It's time to embrace your 'Cre-hate-tivity'. And remember: You are a star! (Dim, distant and dead inside.)
By Marcus Butler
The Sunday Times number 1 bestseller.Marcus Butler's irreverent YouTube channel has long combined laughs and comedy sketches with thoughts on more serious issues. What sets him apart from the rest is his ability to mix light-hearted banter with a deep empathy for the problems facing young people today. Thanks to his experiences of family illness, his parents' divorce, weight issues and catastrophic hair days, Marcus is in a unique position to share everything he has learned about healthy living, relationships and dealing with the daily pressures life throws at us all. Working with journalist and writer Matt Allen, in HELLO LIFE! his part-autobiography, part-self help guide Marcus shares his trademark big-brotherly advice and unveils his roadmap to success for anyone navigating the trickier aspects of modern living. Funny, cool, fully illustrated and totally readable, this book is the ultimate must-have for fans of Marcus Butler.
This Wedding Is Doomed!
By Amanda Berry, Shawntelle Madison, Stephanie Draven, Jeannie Lin
If you adore Tracy Bloom, Cathy Bramley, Holly Martin and Lindsey Kelk, then this delighfully fun and flirty book is for you. At this wonderfully wacky wedding, you'll be treated to stolen kisses, saucy secrets, and happy endings when you least expect them... A perfectionist wedding planner and a troublemaking uncle end up in a sticky situation, and more than sparks fly...Two lifelong best friends are accidentally trapped in a wine cellar, and resort to sampling the wine - and each other...After years of covering the groom's many misdeeds, the best man must choose between loyalty and the love of a wedding singer.And a runaway bride, a hunky caterer and a stolen wedding cake hit the road in a hijacked van, and head towards a happy-ever-after. Don't miss the wedding of the year, where everyone has the chance of falling in love.
Prince Charles_HRH's guide to Great Britishness
There are plenty of guidebooks on Great Britain, but none have been given the all-important Royal Seal of Approval. Who better to teach the world than the heir to the throne?His Royal Highness will cover everything from History ('Might have to sell France to pay for Richard III's car park fine') to British cities ('If you're wondering why the British are so good at cycling and rowing, take a look at the cost of public transport') and The Arts ('The Madness of King George III - fantastic film. Americans didn't go to the cinema because they hadn't seen the first two. Awkward)'.Tackling the all-important issues such as why we Brits can form a perfectly ordinary queue with just two people, or why we love a Full English Breakfast despite the fact it contains 465,873 calories, Prince @Charles_HRH's Guide to Great Britishness is a hilarious romp around our sceptered Isle.