Matt Coyne - Dummy - Headline Publishing Group

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Other Formats
  • Paperback £8.99
    More information
    • ISBN:9781472243737
    • Publication date:22 Feb 2018
  • Downloadable audio file £P.O.R.
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    • ISBN:9781472248923
    • Publication date:20 Apr 2017

Dummy

The Comedy and Chaos of Real-Life Parenting

By Matt Coyne

  • E-Book
  • £P.O.R.

A hilariously honest book on the mystery and madness of parenting

**THE SUNDAY TIMES TOP 10 BESTSELLER**

'The night before Charlie was born I had this dream. I dreamt that I was a soldier, riding into battle ... completely naked, and on the back of a large, inflatable duck.'

Matt Coyne has become a hero for thousands of parents everywhere who are devoted followers of his popular blog, Man vs Baby.

This is his book, and it is not your average parenting tome. It's packed with completely impractical advice for the bewildered new mum or dad - stuff you won't find anywhere else: from 'Profanity Bingo' for labour to a categorisation of various nappy disasters. But, more than that, it is the story of how becoming a parent is a kind of beautiful insanity - a thing that changes you.

Above all, Dummy will keep you laughing through the exhaustion, the mystery and the madness of bringing up your own children.

This is the parenting book for real people.

Raves for Matt Coyne and Dummy:

'A hero for dads everywhere' Daily Mirror

'Very, Very funny' Phillip Schofield, This Morning

'Hilarious but accurate account of finding your feet as a parent. Matt Coyne's post has struck a chord with parents from all over the world' Daily Mail

'Brutally honest rant on the reality of parenthood has taken the internet by storm' Sunday Telegraph

Biographical Notes

MATT COYNE is a 42-year-old graphic designer from Sheffield. In September 2015, Matt's life was turned upside-down by the arrival of his first child, Charlie. After three months of fatherhood, he logged on to Facebook and wrote about his experience of having to live with 'a furious, sleep-murdering, unstable and incontinent, breasts-obsessed midget lodger'. Within days, his post about surviving the first few months of parenthood became a viral sensation and was shared all over the world. He continues to
impart his parental triumphs and disasters on his blog, Man vs Baby.

Facebook: /manversusbaby
Twitter: @mattcoyney
www.man-vs-baby.co.uk

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9781472243751
  • Publication date: 20 Apr 2017
  • Page count:
  • Imprint: Wildfire
A hero for dads everywhere — Daily Mirror
Very, very funny — Phillip Schofield, This Morning
Hilarious but accurate account of finding your feet as a parent ... Matt Coyne's post has struck a chord with parents from all over the world — Daily Mail
Brutally honest rant on the reality of parenthood has taken the internet by storm — Sunday Telegraph
Wildfire

Scrapers

Zack Scott
Authors:
Zack Scott

With this exquisite infographic masterpiece, Zack Scott explores in stunning detail the majestic constructions that humans have created on the surface of our own planet. This is SCRAPERS, a visual history of man's endeavours to reach higher and higher, through the construction of mind-blowing new buildings.Zack Scott takes us on an infographic journey from humankind's first attempts to touch the sky with their creations, to the modern masterpieces of architecture and engineering standing proudly across the globe. From Stonehenge to the Burj Khalifa; the Taj Mahal to the Shard, Zack shares the little-known facts and fascinating human stories behind the most incredible buildings in the world. In gorgeous graphic style, SCRAPERS opens our eyes - and our minds - to these true marvels of human architecture.

Headline

Eat, Drink, Run.

Bryony Gordon
Authors:
Bryony Gordon
Headline

Egg and Soldiers

Miles Jupp
Authors:
Miles Jupp

'A gloriously enjoyable read from start to finish' - Daily Express'Here's a book to savour' - Mail on SundayMiles Jupp (News Quiz presenter, star of Rev, I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue and The Thick Of It) delves into the mind of his comedy creation Damien Trench - urbane food writer and protagonist of BBC Radio 4's acclaimed sitcom In and Out of the Kitchen. 'Are you Damien Trench?' said the lady operating the stall.'I might be,' I said to the lady.'You are though, aren't you?' she asked.'Well...yes,' I agreed. And that was that.She seized me by both hands, pulled me towards her, and launched into a passionate monologue that covered a selection of dessert recipes that I had once offered up in print, her difficult relationship with soft cheeses and her husband's irritable skin. So intense was her manner that it was extremely difficult to tell if she was scolding or praising me. All I knew was that she was staring so intently at me that I became worried that parts of me would dry up and just drop off like smoked chipotles. Also, her eyes were so extremely wide open that I began to worry that it might be dangerous to let so much light into your head. As soon as she stopped speaking, I thanked her for being willing to share, broke free from her grasp, panic-bought three punnets of raspberries on the way out and then sprinted back to the Uno as fast as fast can be.'Whether you're already a fan of Jupp's bumbling bon viveur, or are stumbling across him for the first time, here's a book to savour.' Mail on Sunday

Headline

It's Not Me, It's Them

Joel Dommett
Authors:
Joel Dommett
Headline

Busty, Slag and Nob End

Russell Ash
Authors:
Russell Ash
Wildfire

The Picture of Dorian Greyhound (Classic Tails 4)

Oscar Wilde with Eliza Garrett
Authors:
Oscar Wilde with Eliza Garrett
Wildfire

Romeow and Juliet (Classic Tails 3)

William Shakespeare with Eliza Garrett
Authors:
William Shakespeare with Eliza Garrett
Wildfire

The Great Catsby (Classic Tails 2)

Eliza Garrett
Authors:
Eliza Garrett
Wildfire

Pugs and Prejudice (Classic Tails 1)

Jane Austen with Eliza Garrett
Authors:
Jane Austen with Eliza Garrett

CLASSIC TAILS - the greatest works of literature, as told by the finest breedsWe all have our favourite classic novels; books that have been beloved to us since childhood, whose wonderful stories and rich tapestry of characters are unsurpassed in modern literature. How, you may ask, could these marvellous works ever be improved upon?Reader, ask no more...for we present Pugs & PrejudiceMrs Bennet has five unmarried daughters, living in a house that can only be inherited by a male heir. The Bennet litter must be married off soon - but to whom?Adorable Mr Bingley seems like a perfect match for beautiful and sweetly tempered Jane Bennet; and perhaps his dashing but aloof companion Mr Darcy might be just right for her witty sister Elizabeth?Or perhaps not...This book has everything you adored about Jane Austen's classic novel - the wit, the warmth, the love story - with everything the original lacked - namely, a colourful cast of adorable pugs dressed head to paw in Georgian clothing. Turns out Mr Darcy is even more lovable with a fuzzy muzzle.What readers are saying about Pugs and Prejudice:'A simply excellent adaptation of a classic' 'Really an amazing book. It's a perfect introductory tale for anyone who doesn't know Pride and Prejudice and even more enjoyable for those who do''Such a cute book - the perfect gift for the pug lovers in your life'

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Unplugged Parenting

Dr Elizabeth Kilbey
Authors:
Dr Elizabeth Kilbey

The book that every parent needs. Written by the expert child psychologist, Dr Elizabeth Kilbey, from Channel 4's The Secret Life of 4, 5 and 6 Year Olds. 'Children who get too much screen time are at risk of anxiety disorders' - BBC NewsThis is the book that every parent with a child under the age of 11 (in the latency stage of brain development) needs in order to navigate the tricky pathway of how much screen time to allow on a daily basis. Play has gone from a physical, creative experience using toys and imagination to something that now involves sitting down alone for hours at a time. Parents are dealing with children who don't listen to them, who are unable to concentrate for very long, who refuse to do homework and who constantly battle against them for more screen time. In this book, Dr Elizabeth Kilbey will offer tangible, practical advice about how to 'unplug' your child from their device so their online time doesn't become all-consuming and how we, as parents, can plug in to connect with our children.

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James Acaster's Classic Scrapes - The Hilarious Sunday Times Bestseller

James Acaster
Authors:
James Acaster

THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER and 2017 Humour Book of the Year pick'Laugh-out-loud hilarious' - Chortle'I don't think I've ever read a book that has made me cry with laughter as much as this one. It was very difficult reading it in public as I looked like a madman' - Richard Herring 'James Acaster has a brilliant comic mind, crackling with energy every bit as much as his corduroy slacks' - Milton JonesJames Acaster has been nominated for the Edinburgh Comedy Award five times and has appeared on prime-time TV shows like MOCK THE WEEK, LIVE AT THE APOLLO and RUSSELL HOWARD'S STAND UP CENTRAL.But behind the fame and critical acclaim is a man perpetually getting into trouble. Whether it's disappointing a skydiving instructor mid-flight, hiding from thugs in a bush wearing a bright red dress, or annoying the Kettering Board Games club, a didgeridoo-playing conspiracy theorist and some bemused Christians, James is always finding new ways to embarrass himself.Appearing on Josh Widdicombe's radio show to recount these stories, the feature was christened 'James Acaster's classic scrapes'. Here, in his first book, James recounts these tales (including never-before-heard stories) along with self-penned drawings, in all their glorious stupidity.

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A History of Heavy Metal

Andrew O'Neill
Authors:
Andrew O'Neill

'Absolutely hilarious' - Neil Gaiman'One of the funniest musical commentators that you will ever read . . . loud and thoroughly engrossing' - Alan Moore'Relentlessly energetic and frequently hilarious' - The Herald'A man on a righteous mission to persuade people to "lay down your souls to the gods rock and roll"' - The Sunday Times'A love letter to Heavy Metal' - BBC RADIO 4 'As funny and preposterous as this mighty music deserve' - John HiggsThe history of heavy metal brings brings us extraordinary stories of larger-than-life characters living to excess, from the household names of Ozzy Osbourne, Lemmy, Bruce Dickinson and Metallica (SIT DOWN, LARS!), to the brutal notoriety of the underground Norwegian black metal scene and the New Wave Of British Heavy Metal. It is the story of a worldwide network of rabid fans escaping everyday mundanity through music, of cut-throat corporate arseholes ripping off those fans and the bands they worship to line their pockets. The expansive pantheon of heavy metal musicians includes junkies, Satanists and murderers, born-again Christians and teetotallers, stadium-touring billionaires and toilet-circuit journeymen. Award-winning comedian and life-long heavy metal obsessive Andrew O'Neill has performed his History of Heavy Metal comedy show to a huge range of audiences, from the teenage metalheads of Download festival to the broadsheet-reading theatre-goers of the Edinburgh Fringe. Now, in his first book, he takes us on his own very personal and hilarious journey through the history of the music, the subculture, and the characters who shaped this most misunderstood genre of music.

Headline

The Wasp That Brainwashed the Caterpillar

Matt Simon
Authors:
Matt Simon

For fans of WHAT IF? and NEW SCIENTIST comes Matt Simon's THE WASP THAT BRAINWASHED THE CATERPILLAR, a brilliantly funny and informative look at the stranger side of evolution.Featuring:The Zombie ants mind-controlled by a fungusBeautiful salamanders that can regenerate any part of their bodies, including their brainsThe mantis shrimp, which fires its club-like appendage so fast that the surrounding water becomes as hot as the surface of the sunThe Antechinus, whose runaway testosterone levels cause them to have so much sex during their three-week mating season that they bleed internally, go blind, and drop dead...Featuring quirky illustrations and the signature blend of science smarts and humour that make Matt Simon's Wired column so entertaining, this is an ideal stocking-filler for every popular science aficionado...

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Football Clichés

Adam Hurrey
Authors:
Adam Hurrey
Tinder Press

The Unseeing

Anna Mazzola
Authors:
Anna Mazzola

It is 1837 and the city streets teem with life, atmosphere and the stench of London. Sarah Gale, a seamstress and mother, has been sentenced to hang for her role in the murder of Hannah Brown on the eve of her wedding. Edmund Fleetwood, an idealistic lawyer, is appointed to investigate Sarah's petition for mercy and consider whether justice has been done. Struggling with his own demons, he is determined to seek out the truth, yet Sarah refuses to help him. Edmund knows she's hiding something, but needs to discover just why she's maintaining her silence. For how can it be that someone with a child would go willingly to their own death?THE UNSEEING is a vividly written novel of human frailty, fear and manipulation, and of the terrible consequences of jealousy and misunderstanding.

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Fathers and Sons

Alexander Waugh
Authors:
Alexander Waugh
Headline

Mad Girl

Bryony Gordon
Authors:
Bryony Gordon

Bryony Gordon has OCD.It's the snake in her brain that has told her ever since she was a teenager that her world is about to come crashing down: that her family might die if she doesn't repeat a phrase 5 times, or that she might have murdered someone and forgotten about it. It's caused alopecia, bulimia, and drug dependency. And Bryony is sick of it. Keeping silent about her illness has given it a cachet it simply does not deserve, so here she shares her story with trademark wit and dazzling honesty.A hugely successful columnist for the Telegraph, a bestselling author, and a happily married mother of an adorable daughter, Bryony has managed to laugh and live well while simultaneously grappling with her illness. Now it's time for her to speak out. Writing with her characteristic warmth and dark humour, Bryony explores her relationship with her OCD and depression as only she can.Mad Girl is a shocking, funny, unpredictable, heart-wrenching, raw and jaw-droppingly truthful celebration of life with mental illness.(P)2016 Headline Digital

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F**k This Journal

Dale Shaw
Authors:
Dale Shaw
Tinder Press

The Other Side of the World

Stephanie Bishop
Authors:
Stephanie Bishop
Headline

Hello Life!

Marcus Butler
Authors:
Marcus Butler