Matt Coyne - Dummy - Headline Publishing Group

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  • Paperback £8.99
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    • ISBN:9781472243737
    • Publication date:22 Feb 2018
  • Downloadable audio file £P.O.R.
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    • ISBN:9781472248923
    • Publication date:20 Apr 2017

Dummy

The Comedy and Chaos of Real-Life Parenting

By Matt Coyne

  • E-Book
  • £P.O.R.

A hilariously honest book on the mystery and madness of parenting

**THE SUNDAY TIMES TOP 10 BESTSELLER**

'The night before Charlie was born I had this dream. I dreamt that I was a soldier, riding into battle ... completely naked, and on the back of a large, inflatable duck.'

Matt Coyne has become a hero for thousands of parents everywhere who are devoted followers of his popular blog, Man vs Baby.

This is his book, and it is not your average parenting tome. It's packed with completely impractical advice for the bewildered new mum or dad - stuff you won't find anywhere else: from 'Profanity Bingo' for labour to a categorisation of various nappy disasters. But, more than that, it is the story of how becoming a parent is a kind of beautiful insanity - a thing that changes you.

Above all, Dummy will keep you laughing through the exhaustion, the mystery and the madness of bringing up your own children.

This is the parenting book for real people.

Raves for Matt Coyne and Dummy:

'A hero for dads everywhere' Daily Mirror

'Very, Very funny' Phillip Schofield, This Morning

'Hilarious but accurate account of finding your feet as a parent. Matt Coyne's post has struck a chord with parents from all over the world' Daily Mail

'Brutally honest rant on the reality of parenthood has taken the internet by storm' Sunday Telegraph

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9781472243751
  • Publication date: 20 Apr 2017
  • Page count:
  • Imprint: Wildfire
A hero for dads everywhere — Daily Mirror
Very, very funny — Phillip Schofield, This Morning
Hilarious but accurate account of finding your feet as a parent ... Matt Coyne's post has struck a chord with parents from all over the world — Daily Mail
Brutally honest rant on the reality of parenthood has taken the internet by storm — Sunday Telegraph
Wildfire

Truth

Tom Phillips
Authors:
Tom Phillips

'TOM PHILLIPS IS A VERY CLEVER, VERY FUNNY MAN' Greg JennerThis is a book about TRUTH - and all the ingenious ways, throughout history, that we've managed to avoid it.We live in a 'post-truth' age, we're told. The US has a president who openly lies on a daily basis (or who doesn't even know what's true, and doesn't care). The internet has turned our everyday lives into a misinformation battleground. People don't trust experts any more.But was there ever really a golden age of truth-telling? As the editor of the UK's leading independent fact-checker, Tom Phillips deals with complete bollocks every day. Here, he tells the story of how we humans have spent history lying to each other - and ourselves - and asks an important question: how can humanity move towards a truthier future?PRAISE FOR HUMANS: A BRIEF HISTORY OF HOW WE F*CKED IT ALL UP:'F*cking brilliant' Sarah Knight, The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck'Very funny' Mark Watson'In dark times, it's reassuring to learn that we've always been a bunch of clueless f*cking nitwits' Stuart Heritage, Don't Be a Dick, Pete'A light-touch history of moments when humans have got it spectacularly wrong... Both readable and entertaining' Telegraph

Wildfire

Man vs. Toddler

Matt Coyne
Authors:
Matt Coyne

More inept, more clueless and more exhausted than ever, the man behind the blogging phenomenon Man vs Baby is back with the latest instalment in his (and his son Charlie's) journey through the chaos and comedy of parenting In the follow-up to the critically acclaimed Sunday Times bestseller Dummy comes Man vs Toddler - the story of what happens when your little one is transformed from an innocent bundle of joy into a creature that walks, talks... and craps in a plastic bucket in the middle of your living room.Man vs Toddler exposes the lie that, that when it comes to parenting 'it gets easier'. But it is just as foul-mouthed and heart-warming as Matt's first book, and will have you laughing and crying with recognition as he shares his observations and advice on everything from tantrums to the horrors of soft-play.

Headline

Cat vs Trump

Is your cat smarter than Donald Trump?Already read The Beautiful Poetry of Donald Trump? Gobbled up Fire and Fury? Well, how about some Fire and FURRY. It's time to give your cat a pick me up, as we pit its wits against the President...You know Donald Trump, right? Wobbly orange trumpet on legs? The answer to the question: 'What would the offspring of a Wotsit and a dolphin look like?' Yeah, that guy. Well, he also happens to be the 45th President of the United States of America. There are many questions to be asked of Trump - did he collude with Russia? Is his hair made from caramelised orangutan farts? More pressing than all of them, though, is this: Is he smarter than your cat?*There's only one way to find out...To complete the Cat vs Trump test you will need:A catA pencilThe ability to forget that the world feels like it's on the brinkof nuclear apocalypse for a bitA reminder of POTUS's biggest gaffes and a genuine cat IQ test all in one, this is the perfect present for cat lovers and Donald detractors alike... *SPOILER ALERT - NO

Headline

I'm Sorry, I Love You: A History of Professional Wrestling

Jim Smallman
Authors:
Jim Smallman

'Filled with passion, humour, and a little bit of welcome weirdness. A must-read for every die-hard wrestling fan' - Mick FoleyFor fans of books from Chris Jericho, Steve Austin, Daniel Bryan, Mick Foley and Jim Ross. 'We have all felt every emotion today. Remember today, the next time a family member or workmate tells you that wrestling is stupid. We've laughed, we've cried, we've screamed our lungs out. Professional wrestling is the greatest thing in the entire world.' - Jim Smallman, 2016 Comedian and PROGRESS Wrestling founder Jim Smallman takes us on a wild ride through the history of pro-wrestling, from its beginnings at the turn of the twentieth century to the pop-culture, pay-per-view juggernaut that it is today.Join Jim as he looks at the most defining and iconic moments in wrestling's history and attempts to nail down just why this ludicrous, over the top, compelling quasi-sport means so much to so many people.

Wildfire

Humans

Tom Phillips
Authors:
Tom Phillips
Headline

Confessions of a Single Mum

Amy Nickell
Authors:
Amy Nickell
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A History of Heavy Metal

Andrew O'Neill
Authors:
Andrew O'Neill
Headline

Egg and Soldiers

Miles Jupp
Authors:
Miles Jupp

'A gloriously enjoyable read from start to finish' - Daily Express'Here's a book to savour' - Mail on SundayMiles Jupp (News Quiz presenter, star of Rev, I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue and The Thick Of It) delves into the mind of his comedy creation Damien Trench - urbane food writer and protagonist of BBC Radio 4's acclaimed sitcom In and Out of the Kitchen. 'Are you Damien Trench?' said the lady operating the stall.'I might be,' I said to the lady.'You are though, aren't you?' she asked.'Well...yes,' I agreed. And that was that.She seized me by both hands, pulled me towards her, and launched into a passionate monologue that covered a selection of dessert recipes that I had once offered up in print, her difficult relationship with soft cheeses and her husband's irritable skin. So intense was her manner that it was extremely difficult to tell if she was scolding or praising me. All I knew was that she was staring so intently at me that I became worried that parts of me would dry up and just drop off like smoked chipotles. Also, her eyes were so extremely wide open that I began to worry that it might be dangerous to let so much light into your head. As soon as she stopped speaking, I thanked her for being willing to share, broke free from her grasp, panic-bought three punnets of raspberries on the way out and then sprinted back to the Uno as fast as fast can be.'Whether you're already a fan of Jupp's bumbling bon viveur, or are stumbling across him for the first time, here's a book to savour.' Mail on Sunday

Wildfire

The Picture of Dorian Greyhound (Classic Tails 4)

Oscar Wilde, Eliza Garrett
Authors:
Oscar Wilde, Eliza Garrett

CLASSIC TAILS - the greatest works of literature, as told by the finest breedsWe all have our favourite classic tales; books that have been beloved to us since childhood, whose wonderful stories and rich tapestry of characters are unsurpassed in modern literature. How, you may ask, could these marvellous works ever be improved upon?Reader, ask no more...for we present The Picture of Dorian GreyhoundDorian Greyhound is the best of his breed - well-tempered, beautiful and pure of heart. So Basil Basset, an artist, paints a portrait that reflects the very essence of Dorian's soul.But soon Dorian befriends selfish hedonist Lord Henry Wooffon, and then the moral corruption of this sweet creature begins. On the outside, Dorian remains young and sleek - but as his naughtiness increases, the portrait starts to reveal the extent of his inner decay...What readers are saying about The Picture of Dorian Greyhound:'The whole book is hilarious. I need more of these Classic Tails editions in my life''Clever text, lovely illustrations''Fun references and amazing artwork. It's certainly made me want to read the original'

Wildfire

Romeow and Juliet (Classic Tails 3)

William Shakespeare with Eliza Garrett
Authors:
William Shakespeare with Eliza Garrett

CLASSIC TAILS - the greatest works of literature, as told by the finest breedsWe all have our favourite classic tales; books that have been beloved to us since childhood, whose wonderful stories and rich tapestry of characters are unsurpassed in modern literature. How, you may ask, could these marvellous works ever be improved upon?Reader, ask no more...for we present Romeow and JulietYou've never read Shakespeare like this, till now: / The tragedy of Juliet, and her Romeow.In fair Purrona, two furry families, the Montamews and the Cattulets, are at war. But when Romeow, the son of Montamew, crashes a Cattulet party, he falls in love with his enemy's daughter, Juliet. So begins the tale of two star-crossed kitties, who must defy this feline feud to live - and tragically die - together.What readers are saying about Romeow and Juliet:'A light-hearted catty take on Romeo and Juliet - a great one to pick up for Christmas!' 'This is such a beautiful and wonderful book to own and perfect for anyone, no matter if you've read Shakespeare of not!' '5 stars. Loving this - and the other books in the series'

Wildfire

The Great Catsby (Classic Tails 2)

Eliza Garrett
Authors:
Eliza Garrett
Wildfire

Pugs and Prejudice (Classic Tails 1)

Jane Austen, Eliza Garrett
Authors:
Jane Austen, Eliza Garrett

CLASSIC TAILS - the greatest works of literature, as told by the finest breedsWe all have our favourite classic novels; books that have been beloved to us since childhood, whose wonderful stories and rich tapestry of characters are unsurpassed in modern literature. How, you may ask, could these marvellous works ever be improved upon?Reader, ask no more...for we present Pugs & PrejudiceMrs Bennet has five unmarried daughters, living in a house that can only be inherited by a male heir. The Bennet litter must be married off soon - but to whom?Adorable Mr Bingley seems like a perfect match for beautiful and sweetly tempered Jane Bennet; and perhaps his dashing but aloof companion Mr Darcy might be just right for her witty sister Elizabeth?Or perhaps not...This book has everything you adored about Jane Austen's classic novel - the wit, the warmth, the love story - with everything the original lacked - namely, a colourful cast of adorable pugs dressed head to paw in Georgian clothing. Turns out Mr Darcy is even more lovable with a fuzzy muzzle.What readers are saying about Pugs and Prejudice:'A simply excellent adaptation of a classic' 'Really an amazing book. It's a perfect introductory tale for anyone who doesn't know Pride and Prejudice and even more enjoyable for those who do''Such a cute book - the perfect gift for the pug lovers in your life'

Headline Home

Unplugged Parenting

Dr Elizabeth Kilbey
Authors:
Dr Elizabeth Kilbey
Headline

James Acaster's Classic Scrapes - The Hilarious Sunday Times Bestseller

James Acaster
Authors:
James Acaster
Headline

The Crap Secret Santa Gift Book

Secret Santa
Authors:
Secret Santa

A budget-friendly Secret Santa present for fans of How to Poo at Work and Very British Problems featuring advice on how to survive the office christmas party, silly games to play in meetings and, on one page, a picture of a really evil swan. Perfect for that bloke in marketing whose name you've forgotten. Dear _____,Look, I never signed up to this 'Secret Santa' crap. If I had it my way we'd spend the money on a paddling pool and fill it with gin, or a pool table or something. And I'm sure you're great, but in all honesty I'm not really sure who you are. That's why I pretended to be on my phone in the lift the other day.Anyway, seeing as it's compulsory, I decided to get you this very expensive and interesting book, featuring such things as: Tips on how to survive the office partyStupid games to play in meetingsExamples of things I could have got you instead of this bookA picture of a swanLet's face it, you're only going to leave this behind in the pub or give it to your weird nephew you're secretly terrified of, so stop complaining.Oh, and Merry Christmas.Yours,'Secret Santa'

Headline

The Wasp That Brainwashed the Caterpillar

Matt Simon
Authors:
Matt Simon
Headline

F**k This Journal

Dale Shaw
Authors:
Dale Shaw

For fans of The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k...Paralysed with bitterness and an overwhelming desire to push people over? Looking for ways to spur your rotten creative core? Need an outlet for your twisted thoughts and pathetic dreams? Struggling for a secret santa gift for the creepy bloke in marketing?Well, look no further than F**K This Journal - the only book to use anger and resentment as the pointy stick to goad your inner artistic pursuits. It's time to embrace your 'Cre-hate-tivity'. And remember: You are a star! (Dim, distant and dead inside.)

Tinder Press

The Other Side of the World

Stephanie Bishop
Authors:
Stephanie Bishop

Headline

Hello Life!

Marcus Butler
Authors:
Marcus Butler
Headline Review

Fathers and Sons

Alexander Waugh
Authors:
Alexander Waugh

The Waugh family has been writing books since the nineteenth century. Evelyn's father, brother and son were all writers and now his grandson has taken up the baton. Based on recollections of his father, Auberon, and on a mine of hitherto unseen documents relating to Evelyn and his close family, Alexander Waugh skilfully traces the threads of influence that have linked father to son across a century of conflict, turmoil and change.FATHERS AND SONS is much more than a family tale: it is a study of birth and death, of writers and writing, of conforming and rebelling. It is a frank and intimate memoir, a revealing history and a book about famous men.